The Official Blog of Iain Rob Wright: A to Z of Surviving a Horror Movie - V

Monday, 16 January 2012

A to Z of Surviving a Horror Movie - V

Virus - A virus in a horror movie will cause more than a common cold.  It will cause throbbing ulcers and puss-filled boils that will result in your flesh peeling from your very bones.  It may also cause zombie-itis or Rage-asemia.

Vixen - A female fox or a woman that will get you killed by leading you into a trap.  The only way to resist their wiles is to be to not be a fox and to be gay.

Venezuela - Does this country actually do anything?

Vendetta - A killer-s vendetta will span generations and you might end up dead because of something your sweet old Grandma did.  In a way a vendetta-killer is noble, which makes it a little bit sad when you are forced to lop his head off.

Villain - The bad guy in a horror film.  Your aim is to kill him in the last ten minutes.  The more friends you have left alive at the end, the more horror movie survival points you get.

Venom -  Venom in a horror movie will melt your flesh from the inside out.  If something bites you, pray that it was one of the female survivors being a bit randy.  Anything else and you're a gonner.

Volume - If the volume on your TV is too loud, then you will miss the nasty monster creeping up behind you to steal your cheese poofs.

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