The Official Blog of Iain Rob Wright: A to Z of surviving a horror movie - N

Monday, 21 November 2011

A to Z of surviving a horror movie - N


Nails - If a guy has nails sticking out of his head then you should probably excuse yourself quietly.  Certainly DO NOT ask him for DIY advice.

Never - If you say 'never' in a horror film then that impossibility will most certainly occur.  A serial killer has been chopping people up?  That would 'never' happen here!  CHOP!

Nickel - The most evil of all american coins.  Do touch them.  Don't even look at them...

Nile - In real life, sometime people get eaten by crocodiles in the river Nile.  In a horror film, people WILL get eaten by crocodiles.  Then they will get reanimated by an Egyptian pharoah and made to go on tour as one of Lady GaGa's backing dancers.

NBA - Nigel's Big Afro.

Nibbles - In a horror film, whenever someone offers you nibbles, such as cheesy poofs, you will at some point notice a severed finger in the bowl or bag.  Hopefully you will realise this before eating it and not after.  Brings a whole new meaning to the term: 'finger-food'.

Necks - Necks get broken or bitten by Vampires in horror films, so if you have one you're probably better just leaving it at home.

Nipples - My nipples are very sensitive.  How bout yours?

Nelly - Nelly has a zobie infection that he has somehow managed to contain for several years in secret.  Why else does he always wear that plaster on his cheek?  He is either a zombie or has a severe immunity weakness that prvents his body from healing even the smallest cuts.

Nub - Left arm plus killer's machete = Nub.

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