The Official Blog of Iain Rob Wright: A to Z of surviving a horror movie

Thursday, 13 October 2011

A to Z of surviving a horror movie


Kylie Minogue - The princess of the ancient pixie clan of downunderoth.  Feeds on the souls of teenage girls and midde-aged men.  She must be stopped by improving our tastes in popular music.

Kangaroo - A kangaroo cannot help you in a horror movie.  An army of genetically engineered Kangaroos however...

Key - Mysterious keys left behind by dead relatives always lead to a dusty old chest in their attics.  Best you just leave that old thing closed...seriously, you don't need to know what's in there.

Kaboom - Kabooming the bad guy is the only way to be sure they are dead.  Stabbing and shooting will not stop a masked serial killer permanently.  Only strapping a bomb and kaboombing them will do this.

Kilimanjaro - Mountains have yetis and other mysterious monsters.  If you are planning to climb a mountain oon then you should ensure you pack both a shotgun and copious amounts of energy bars.

Kirsty Allie - Kirsty Allie hungry.  Kirsty Allie will eat you!  Cheers ruled...

Knife - This common, everyday kitchen implement accounts for 94% of horror movie deaths.  That is why we should all sign an international treaty that replaces all knives with plastic 'sporks'.  It's the only way we will survive people.

Kong - Big monkey.  Bad!

Klingons - Wrong genre.  You should be in the A to Z of how to survive a Sci-Fi movie

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